Domestic Adventures

I knelt down and felt the cold of the snow sucking heat away from my body through the uncomfortably thin material of my pant legs. Adjusting my down jacket for added warmth against the 18-degree night air, I asked my wife to aim her flashlight in front of me to I could get started on the job ahead.

Was Packman preparing to field dress a large beast to feed his family through the winter? Perhaps he was going to splint the broken limb of a friend so they could make it back to civilization and medical care? Or maybe he was about to provide mouth-to-mouth rescue breathing to the beautiful young maiden who had choked on a powerbar during a winter hike? (What was she doing wearing a bikini in the freezing cold anyway?)

Nope. None of these exciting sounding scenarios happened last night. Rather, I was kneeling in the freezing cold trying to relight the pilot light of our home’s furnace so it would heat our house.

I headed up for bed at around 11pm and when I tried to wash my face I discovered that there was no hot water. No big deal, I thought. I had lived in large apartment buildings for years where losing hot water for a few hours at night was a regular occurrence when maintenance was being performed.

Then I remembered that I do not live in a large apartment building anymore. I live in a single-family house. With hot-water baseboard heating. In other words, no hot water, no heat. I recalled the radio telling me it was 18-degrees outside. Crap. I checked the thermometer in the bedroom and it read 62 degrees. Not dangerously cold, but significantly below the 68 degrees the thermostat was set for.

Plan “A” for keeping the family warm was quickly established. I woke Mrs. Packman and told her of our predicament. We procured an electric space-heater from storage and put it in Mini-man’s room to keep him warm, and decided that if it got really cold we’d bring FBS into bed with us under the down comforters. We’d all be reasonably warm until the plumber could get to us in the morning and figure out what went wrong.

By the time we figured this out and repositioned the electric heater the temperature had dropped an additional two degrees to 60 and I began to worry. Our furnace is located in a shed on the outside of the house. With the temperature dropping as fast as it was, how long would it be before pipes started to freeze and real damage was done?

Plan “B” was quickly put into place. This plan involved Packman attempting to make repairs on potentially dangerous appliances when he has absolutely no training or experience doing so.

Mrs. Packman and I dutifully bundled ourselves up and headed out to the furnace. I removed the front cover and carefully read the warnings about fire and explosion should I do anything wrong with this natural gas-fired device. Great. Then I read the instructions for re-lighting the pilot light. I’ve had pilot lights go out on stoves before and was able to re-light them with no troubles, and it certainly would explain why out furnace was nothing more than a very cold chunk of steel and aluminum. I sniffed around the bottom of the furnace where the instructions said the pilot was located and smelled a faint smell of gas, which was consistent with the pilot being out, so I decided to proceed.

Following the instructions I shut off the electricity, dissected the burner and turned off the gas valve to the pilot light. We stood in the doorway letting the cold wind blow any accumulated gas out of the shed to (hopefully) prevent an explosion when I tried to re-light the pilot. Did I mention it was very cold?

Then things got really interesting. The instructions said to turn the gas control to “pilot” and press and hold a red button before lighting the pilot light with a match. The only problem was that the gas valve had only two positions, “on” and “off,” and there was no read button to be found.

Getting desperate, I went for the brute force method. I held a long-handled lighter to the pilot light and turned the gas back on. Not much happened, but I didn’t get blown up, which I guess was a good thing. I kept the lighter on the pilot light for a while and noticed the flame change color a bit. Maybe this actually worked? I let the lighter burn out and saw no flame remaining and my heart fell. It was going to be a cold night.

With a heavy heart and cold fingers, I re-assembled the furnace and prepared to head inside. I was sure I had failed. However, when I turned the power back on I was rewarded with the unmistakable sound of the furnace cycling on with the burners firing right up. Success!

Mrs. Packman and I headed back to bed to snuggle until the heat came up.

What did Packman learn?

- Being unable to keep your house and family warm in sub-freezing weather is an extremely uncomfortable position to be in.
- Keeping detailed instructions on or near critical appliances can be a real lifesaver.
- Wives are very impressed when you fix important big things, even if you’re not sure you did it correctly.
- Not blowing up your family or burning down your house when working with gas appliances is key.
- Adventure can be found where you least expect it.

Stay warm everybody!